


The Durins

by narwhalicorn



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Brotherly feels, Codependency, Depression, Family Drama, M/M, brief mentions of homophobia, mentions of drug abuse, there will be happy times, these guys just have a lot of issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-11
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2017-12-23 02:56:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/921177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narwhalicorn/pseuds/narwhalicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin is the head of a successful record label Erebor.  His nephews Fili and Kili are rising stars with their twin electric violin band, The Durins.  He has a dark history with the music industry and is afraid of his progeny following the same path.  Gandalf, a respected colleague suggests Bilbo Baggins to help.</p><p>Bilbo has his own baggage, but once Thorin explains his reasoning he readily agrees to work with the boys.  Fili and Kili are distrustful of outsiders and Bilbo will have to work hard to earn their respect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introductions

Bilbo shifted in his seat. It's not that he wasn't physically comfortable where he was sitting. He just felt completely out of place. He was in an enormous, posh waiting room on a wide leather sofa. What was he even interviewing for? What did he have to offer this company? He racked his brain. Gandalf, a close family friend, had arranged this interview when he'd heard about Bilbo's current state of affairs. He assured him, while providing a frustrating lack of detail, that he would be perfect for this job.

He self-consciously fidgeted with his clothes. It'd been so long since he had a "real job" that he didn't have any interview clothes, nor did he know anyone his size who he could borrow some from. He'd spent years running the Baggins stand at his family’s market and nearly everything he owned gave the impression of someone casual, approachable and most importantly someone who wasn't afraid to get their hands dirty.

He had dug an old ivory shirt with olive pinstripes out from the bottom of his closet and paired it with his least faded pair of black jeans. He had scrubbed and shined his Docs and wore those in lieu of dress shoes.

He sat nervously rubbing his palms over his jeans and checking his watch. There were no magazines strewn across the spotless glass table in the middle of the room. There was an espresso machine across the room, on a stainless steel counter top. As a lover of tea, he had no experience with such an appliance. Given his terrible luck with even the simplest machines, he stayed far away from it.

The only personal touch in the room was the desk of the assistant who had introduced himself as Ori. His powerful looking computer and widescreen monitor atop a glass desk seemed to mirror what must be his employer's tastes. Ori had a well-used light brown leather messenger bag leaning against the side. It was partially open and spiral notebooks stuffed hastily with papers were clearly visible. He had several hardcover books on an impressive black bookshelf behind him. The shelf seemed to have been added as a grudging accommodation as it matched the intimidating grandeur of the whole room and not the actual quantity of books it was meant to house.

The desk itself was decorated with a variety of Amigurumi. Judging by the yarn peeking out from a matte black box tucked into the bottom of the book shelf they must have been made by Ori.

Bilbo found himself wondering how someone seemingly so different from his modern and masculine surroundings found himself working for such a company. Maybe he wouldn't be rejected as soon as he walked in the door, he hoped.

That won't do, he despaired as he ran his hands through his curly hair. I've got to keep myself pumped up for this job! Gandalf said they needed someone just like me for an important position and that's what I'm here for.

A small mewling sound came from Ori's desk. He adjusted his bluetooth before answering. "Yes, Thorin. He's here." After a pause he stated, "I'll send him right in."

He smiled at Bilbo. "He's ready for you."

Bilbo stood nervously and looked around.

"Go back to the elevator and go up one floor, then walk straight up to the first desk you see," Ori informed him.

"Right," said Bilbo. "Thank you."

Once he was in the confines of the elevator he focused on slowing his breathing. He checked his appearance in the reflection of the glossy black interior until the doors opened.

If he had any concerns about finding the right desk they were immediately gone as there was only one desk. The entire floor was clearly used as a single personal office. Most of the space was empty. His rubber soled boots were soundless against the granite floors and he approached the desk without being noticed. The man behind it seemed engrossed in work that seemed to involve the use of three separate wide-screen computer monitors. His eyes flicked quickly between them.

"Hello, I was told to meet Mr. Thorin," Bilbo said hesitantly.

Thorin jolted slightly and flicked his eyes over Bilbo suspiciously.

"Gandalf recommended me," he offered.

"So you are the one," Thorin mused standing up and walking around the desk. He circled Bilbo taking in his appearance and baring. Well-used but average boots, no dress pants and a shirt that was more suited for a cheap date than an interview with a company like Erebor.

"Bilbo Baggins, at your service."

"Thorin Oakenshield. Gandalf assures me of your skills, but what can you tell me about yourself? Why are you even worth the time it is taking to speak to you?"

Any nervousness Bilbo had was quickly eradicated in favor of being very displeased by how rudely he was being treated. He might just be too good for this company! "I have been working in every aspect of my family business since I could walk. I am accustomed to forming a long term relationship with customers, managing revenue and advertising. I can source, hire, and organize staff to deal with the general labor of a business but in a pinch have proven I'm capable of even the most basic yet grueling necessities."

"That all sounds good enough on it's own. What exactly is your family business?"

"My family owns and operates Baggins Farmers' Market," Bilbo said proudly.

"I thought you looked like a grocer," Thorin scoffed.

Bilbo was outraged. Before he could respond the elevator pinged open and Ori stepped onto the floor.

"I'm sorry Thorin, but you weren't answering your phone. I have Gandalf on the line and he says it is imperative you speak with him immediately."

"Of all the meddling..." Thorin trailed off to pick up his phone and pressed a few buttons before answering "What?"

Thorin's half of the conversation consisted of many aborted sentences and loud breathing. When he finally slammed the receiver down he seemed surprised to still see Bilbo and Ori standing there. The intensity of the moment was broken up by a mewl from Ori's pocket.

"I thought I told you to change that tone," Thorin glowered.

Ori shrugged as he pressed a button on his bluetooth. "Hello," he cooed. "Sure, I can meet you for lunch..." The conversation trailed off as he stepped onto the elevator and the doors closed behind him.

Thorin turned to Bilbo and stared down at him. Bilbo did not break eye contact and sincerely hoped this interview would not come down to a manly staring contest.

"Gandalf assures me despite whatever impressions you give that you are exactly what I need. I will be hiring you on a trial basis."

"What does this position entail?"

"Follow me," Thorin stated. He stood in front of smooth black wall next to the elevator. He pushed a button that Bilbo previously hadn't noticed. It briefly glowed blue before returning to the same shade as the wall. What Bilbo had assumed was another part of the wall slid open to reveal an elevator. Thorin stepped in and stared at Bilbo impatiently.

Bilbo hastily got on. This elevator was very similar to the other one except the walls seemed to be flecked in different shades of blue.

In a moment, the doors reopened and Thorin stepped off first. Not wanting to spur his ire again Bilbo quickly followed him.

This floor seemed to be used as a penthouse. The elevator had let them off at what seemed to be an entryway. As they turned the corner Bilbo could hear boisterous voices.

"...and then I said the whole lot of them were throat cutters and he just ran off!"

This statement was followed by laughter.

When they approached the main sitting area Bilbo could see the back of a blond head of hair and two legs hanging over the back of a sofa.

"Boys! We have company!" Thorin barked.

The blond head turned, surveyed Bilbo quickly and then smirked down next to him. Two hands joined the legs thrown over the edge of the sofa and propelled the rest of the person up and over the seat.

"Kili," the brunette said. He was wearing snug faded black jeans and a tight shirt, both of which showed off his muscles in a way that made Bilbo self-conscious.

"Fili," the blonde said as he approached Bilbo. He had stepped around the sofa while his brother made his unnecessarily acrobatic appearance. His clothing was a little looser but his tightly cinched studded belt still accentuated his hips.

Both men wore their hair long. Fili's was neatly pulled back and Kili's was spilling out from where it was loosely gathered in a metal clip.

"At your service," they said in unison, bowing simultaneously.

Thorin rolled his eyes. "I need a drink. I'll leave you three to get acquainted."

After Thorin was out of the sight the two men began circling Bilbo like wolves herding prey.

"Look at this one, brother."

"Thorin really picked a pretty one this time."

"How long do you think he will last?"

"Long enough, I hope." Kili stopped circling and reached out a hand to stroke Bilbo's hair.

Bilbo had been growing increasingly irritated. "I am not a thing, I am a person standing right in front of you!"

"Yes, you are," responded Fili stepping closer.

Both of the brothers were at least a head taller than the smaller man. He could tell they were trying to intimidate him. While he was not so slim that all his muscles showed clearly through his clothing, years of working at the market had strengthened both his body and resolve. He was not going to let some pretty, tall boys scare him off the moment his new boss stepped out of the room.

Bilbo planted his feet firmly and crossed his arms over his chest. "Back off."

Fili and Kili's eyes met and they smiled at each other. This one wasn't going to scare so easily.

"Nice stompers," Kili commented. "I don't get to wear my Docs much anymore. Fili shares our uncle's taste in expensive and flashy things."

"I would hardly call Fluevogs expensive! Besides we wore your Demon shoes for our last tour!" injected Fili.

"Demonias," Kili corrected, "and that was a small local stint. I would hardly consider that a tour."

"We were on the road for weeks!"

"I can't help it if California is huge."

Bilbo had watched the conversation go back and forth like a ping pong match while the focus fell further away from him. He could see why Thorin had gone to get a drink before spending two minutes in the room with these guys. He quietly slipped off to see if his boss minded sharing.

\--

Thorin was already two drinks in by the time Bilbo found his way to the kitchen.

"Mind if I join you?"

Thorin turned rapidly. Again, he had not noticed Bilbo approaching him. "I suppose you have come to tell me you're leaving?"

"What? No. I came to grab a drink with you. Those two can be exhausting."

Thorin poured out some dark, caramel liquid from a bottle Bilbo didn't recognize. He handed the cup over and set the bottle down. Bilbo tried to read the label but the writing was small and faded. The brand-name seemed to consist of so many consonants that it would be unpronounceable. He sipped the cup offered him and tried not to choke.

"It's not meant to be sampled," said Thorin.

Bilbo was getting sick of these macho contests but he figured drinking with Thorin was better than what awaited him in the sitting room. He slammed back the drink and set the cup down on the counter. At least he hadn't driven himself here.

If Thorin had any opinion on how Bilbo handled his drink it did not reflect on his face. "What do you make of them?" he asked as he poured out another round.

Bilbo held his cup up while he considered. "They seem to be very close, and they use that closeness to push away and intimidate others." He swallowed down the contents of his glass and held it out to Thorin.

Thorin lifted an eyebrow and poured out another portion for both of them. He had finished his while Bilbo was thinking. "A very astute and quick assessment. They have been known to take the company of men, is that going to be a problem?" Thorin's voice took on a threatening tone at the end.

"Of course not! What difference would it make to me who someone chooses to be with?" Bilbo couldn't believe he was having this conversation He gulped down the liquid, using the burn to distract himself from his embarrassment.

"You'd be surprised. I've had those that appeared to be professional individuals walk off the job."

"That's their problem."

"I still needed to ask. I'll not waste anymore time with otherwise competent assistants blinded by idiocy." Thorin stared forward darkly. His eyes were unfocused and he seemed to be remembering something that gave him little satisfaction to think about.

"Is that my position then? I'm to be their assistant?" interjected Bilbo.

"Yes and no," Thorin said, suddenly coming back to the present. "You can call yourself what you want and do much of what you choose to."

"I don't understand-" Bilbo interrupted.

"Your job is to be a sort of guard," Bilbo made a sputtering sound, "moral guardian," he clarified.

Bilbo laughed. "You expect me to protect their virtue?"

"No." Thorin glared down at Bilbo. "I need someone on the road with them. Someone who has a good sense of the real world and won't let them get too lost in their own fame and bad company. I know from experience what the music business can to do someone." He glanced at the half empty bottles lined up on shelves behind Bilbo. "I'll not have them follow that path."

"I take it they don't know this is why you're hiring me?"

"With the way they've handled your predecessors they may have some idea."

"What, precisely are my job duties? What do you expect me to do?" Bilbo was beginning to feel like he was being hired as a babysitter/chaperone.

Thorin sighed and refilled their glasses. "Drink that," he ordered downing his drink and setting it aside with the bottle.

I should have eaten a bigger lunch, Bilbo thought as he swallowed his drink. He had begun to feel the effects of the alcohol after the second round.

"When they are on the road, or doing local gigs," Thorin began, "people will try to tempt them. There are many that will try to use and destroy them through alcohol, drugs, influence, and yes, in some circumstances sex. Those sorts of individuals will care nothing for them except to use the boys as a leg up for their own means. Your job is to watch out for them, and as much as possible, keep them from falling into those situations."

Bilbo could now see why Gandalf thought he was suited to this job. Some of his extended family had gotten into issues with drugs and money and had fallen so far into ruin that they had tried to steal from the Bagginses. He had strong feelings about those that went out of their way to get others hooked. "I'll do it," he said.

"Excellent. I'll have Ori iron out the details with you." Thorin gestured back out the room. Bilbo took the lead, although he wasn't sure where he was going.

Fili and Kili quickly herded him up to the elevator door.

"Going so soon?" said Fili, resting an arm on Bilbo's shoulder.

"I was hoping you would stay and play with us." Kili wrapped an arm around Bilbo's waist and squeezed his hip.

Bilbo detangled himself from their limbs and stepped forward, feeling alongside the wall for the button.

"Here, let me help," Fili said as he took Bilbo's hand in his and guided it to the proper area. "Gently, baby. That's it..."

"So good at following instructions," Kili added.

Bilbo turned to face them and roughly shrugged away their hands. "Listen, we are going to be working together. I see through your brothers against the world routine and you'll need far more than some tired seduction tactics to scare me off - or interest me. You may as well lay off the crap and quit wasting all of our time." The elevator pinged open behind him and he stepped backwards onto it, still glaring at his antagonizers.

Thorin stepped forward as the door closed. He had been watching the scene unfold from around the corner. "Ease up a little."

Fili frowned at the alcohol smell coming from his uncle. "Afraid we'll scare off your new 'drinking buddy,'" he hissed.

Kili looked nervously between the two of them.

"Don't be stupid," said Thorin. "This one is for you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Fili challenged.

"You need someone with a greater moral compass than a squirrel on your team and you have proven yourself incapable of finding such a person."

"If this is about Nori-"

"Nori is not capable of the services I have hired Bilbo to provide. This issue is non-negotiable and I consider the matter closed," Thorin stated with finality.

Fili punched the elevator button. "Grab your coat," he barked at Kili while glaring at Thorin. "We'll be taking our leave."

Thorin's expression was unreadable. A black hoody suddenly hit Fili in the face, disrupting both of them.

"I'm so sick of your shit, both of you!" Kili's voice was heavy with emotion. "It doesn't have to be like this..."

Both men's expressions softened. "Let's go home," Fili said gently taking Kili's arm and leading him forward. For Kili's sake, he turned back to their uncle and said, with as little ferocity as he could muster, "Thank you for having us over," while jamming his finger against the door close button.

Once he was alone Thorin leaned heavily against the opposite wall staring at the floor. He slid down and sat almost without blinking until he couldn't ignore the growing numbness in his tailbone. He dragged himself back up and walked back to the kitchen to pour himself another glass.

 


	2. Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo feels the consequences of drinking with Thorin and Fili isn't finished yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hours at work have gone up again but I hope to continue updating at least once a week. Thank you for reading, commenting, or leaving kudos. :)

Bilbo stepped off the main elevator and stumbled into the waiting area. His head was spinning and he felt both giddy and sleepy. He took a deep breath and walked carefully forward to Ori's desk. "I'm supposed to discuss my employment details with you."

Ori flicked his eyes up and took in the man's haggard and nauseated appearance. He reached down to his bag and began sifting through the contents, careful not upset the unique order he had arranged them in. He pulled out a bottle of water and a piece of baguette wrapped in napkin. He gestured back towards the sofa before handing Bilbo the food. He tapped a few keys at his desk before joining him.

"Drinking with the boss, eh?" Ori asked, watching as Bilbo gulped down the water.

Bilbo grimaced in response and tore off a piece of bread with his teeth.

"That bad?"

Bilbo was unsure how to respond. He had just been hired and while Ori seemed to be the most stable and reasonable man in the building (himself included) he was also aware he was Thorin's assistant. Mouthing off about the boss and his family was likely not a good move. With this in mind, he opted for a more careful approach.

"I can say it's the first time a job interview has involved taking five shots," he said miserably, biting off another chunk of the crusty and soft bread.

"Wow, you really kept up. Last time Thorin decided to have a go at someone with the bottle they were throwing up at three."

"Oh? How long did that person last working here?"

"Fairly well, last time I checked." Ori smiled and raised his eyebrows at Bilbo. "It was me."

"That's good, I was worried I might be special." The feeling of food in Bilbo’s mouth was starting to make him feel queasy. He leaned back into the couch and groaned uncomfortably.

"Hang on a second." Ori got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen area.

"I'm not going anywhere," mumbled Bilbo. He had slid down his seat until both his shoulders and head were pressed against the sofa back. Ori handed him a fizzy orange drink in a plastic cup.

"Drink that," he ordered.

"Yes, sir." Bilbo tipped the cup back over his mouth and wondered darkly if much of this job would involve drinking liquids handed out by strange men. He choked at the thought and inhaled the remainder of his drink. He coughed and handed back the empty cup. "What was that?" he asked when he was able to breath again.

"My hangover cure. My boyfriend goes out drinking a lot after work. He's not as invincible as he likes to think so I figured something out to help with the morning after, or day of." He added that last part after looking at Bilbo who had slipped further down the sofa.

The elevator doors pinged open and Ori slipped away to see if he was needed.

Fili and Kili stepped off looking distinctly unapproachable.

Before Ori could open his mouth Fili stopped him with a look. "Thorin will be taking the rest of the day off. You can go home," he tried to say this as evenly as possible and mostly failed.

"Oh, it's just that there's still the matter of formally arranging Bilbo's employment..." Ori trailed off nervously. When he mentioned the other man Fili's face set into a scowl and he took the final steps into the reception area.

Bilbo had heard them enter and tried to stand up. When that failed he attempted to sit up straight on the couch. He had compromised by resting his head in his hands. He very much did not want to throw up on his first day.

Fili was fuming. "If this fucker thinks he can just show up, get pissed with Thorin and walk out with a job, he's got another thing coming! What other perks will you be offering? What incentives have you both already worked out?" He was standing several feet away from Bilbo, but his raised voice echoed throughout the room.

"Stop it!" Kili stepped between Fili and Bilbo, facing his brother. "He's got nothing to do with this. This is our problem and we'll deal with it. Let's just go home, please? I'm so tired." Kili looked run down and his eyes were glassy with unshed tears.

Fili looked from him to Ori and Bilbo. "Apologies, that was... inappropriate." He wrapped an arm around Kili and walked away quickly.

Both men remained unmoving for several moments after the elevator doors had closed.

"Still want to work here?" Ori whispered.

"Ha! That old tantrum? I've seen worse." Bilbo was lying. He was unnerved by the displays he had already witnessed, and it was obvious to anyone this family was in crisis. How their story got tangled up in business and drugs he didn't yet know. Still, for the moment this might be what he needed. All of this noise took his mind away from his big empty house and his giant, yet estranged family.

"Is there anyone waiting for you at home?" Ori asked, only partially unaware of the turmoil in Bilbo's mind. While he didn't know the context, he knew that the man was hurt more deeply than he led on. He also could never forgive himself if he sent him off alone to choke to death before the day was over.

"No," Bilbo said evenly.

"That settles it. You're having lunch with Dwalin and me." Before Bilbo had a chance to respond Ori was already making a call.

"Hey, something happened at work and I'll be bringing a friend. Can you meet me inside? I'm in the office."

"Thank you but I don't want to disrupt your day. Have a good time. I've just got to catch a bus and I'll be right back home." Bilbo was touched by Ori's thoughtfulness, and angry and confused about Thorin and his nephews. He had a lot of feelings and wondered if being this smashed was a blessing or a curse.

"That's kind of you to say but I'm afraid you don't have a choice." Ori hummed as he returned to his desk and began packing his work up.

"I really don't feel like eating."

"Then you can sit."

Bilbo grumbled and slumped to the side in response. He must have fallen asleep because he woke up to the sound of two voices. He lay still with his eyes closed while he attempted to quell the spinning in his head.

"Had a go at him, did they?"

"I suppose they all did in their own way... poor guy."

"If he ain't up to the worst of it, he ain't up for the job."

"I know you're right, but that doesn't make it okay. He just came in for an interview today."

"Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Thorin knows better than to hire people with Kili and Fili around."

"Can we not talk about this? I really hate days like this and I just want to move on."

The last statement was followed by the wet sound of kissing.

Moments later the seat next to Bilbo slumped down and he was patted hard by a wide hand.

"Up and 'attum, lad. Ori says you're to be joining us and I don't fancy waiting around for you to sleep this off," said the voice Bilbo was unfamiliar with.

Bilbo scrubbed his hands over his face and stood up.

"Dwalin, at your service."

"Bilbo Baggins." Bilbo weakly shook the hand that was offered to him. While Ori was slender and unintimidating, Dwalin was both tall and heavily muscled. His head was shaved except for a short mohawk, which seemed to accentuate his gauged ears. He had tattoos over the knuckles on both hands and more were visible trailing out from the sleeves and collar of his shirt.

"Come on. Where we're going there will be food, and lots of it!" Dwalin said gruffly as he pulled Bilbo along.

Bilbo concentrated on walking and not vomiting.

\--

The walk back to the car had been tense. Kili had slid into the passenger seat and stared out the window for the entire ride home. He was unlocking the front door before Fili had even stepped out of the car and he left it open as he stormed through the house.

Fili hurried after him in time to see Kili slam the door to his own bedroom. They had personal rooms but it was rare for Kili to spend time in his. He disliked being alone and normally stayed to the main areas of the house and Fili's room.

He knocked softly and called through the door. He heard Kili stomp towards him and throw the lock shut.

"Kili, please. I'm sorry." He was cut off by abrupt and loud violin playing. He knew his brother needed to wind down but after his anger had dissipated he felt a deep-seated ache in his chest. He needed Kili. He pressed his forehead to the door and breathed deeply trying to calm himself. His heart was pounding in his chest and he could feel he was on the brink of another episode.

"Fuck," he said quietly and walked into the main room. He began methodically tuning his violin to focus his mind on something else, something that was in his capacity to fix. He found a dark humor in the fact that both he and Kili channeled their problems into playing, and his family's musical prowess was likely the root of all the same problems. He spent longer than necessary adjusting and checking the strings as he always did. He'd done this so often and for so long that he found the task mind numbingly soothing and because of this his instrument never actually needed tuning.

Once he felt calmer he settled the instrument under his chin and began playing a slow tune. While the pacing was less intense than the sound escaping from Kili's room it subtly complemented the music. Even separated by walls and mistakes the brothers still fell into pace with one another.

Fili settled into the motion of the bow and his fingers sliding over and pressing down the strings. He stared forward without focusing and tried to keep his mind adrift. Playing was the only way he was able to meditate and escape all the problems that awaited him whenever he resurfaced.

Kili was trembling from the moment he'd slammed his door shut. Their world was so small and what little they had was damaged and unstable. Fili and Thorin couldn't spend a moment together without having a go at each other. He knew the isolation and aggression was only making things worse but he didn't know how to fix it. He felt so alone. A part of him wanted to allow Fili to console him and apologize, and a part of him wanted to deny him the comfort his own presence would bring. 

He ignored Fili's words and tightened his bow before laying into his instrument. He didn't want to hear what his brother had to say. He couldn't bear the excuses or the false apologies. It didn't matter how many times they did this dance it always, always went the same. He gripped the neck of his instrument tighter as his already ruthless pace increased. He channeled his feelings of helplessness into playing faster and harder. He didn't notice the frustrated tears that ran down his cheeks until his bow was so shredded running it across the strings was more aggravating than not. 

Fili's slow, mournful music reached his ears the moment he stopped playing. It continued on with its delicate pacing and perfect composition. Kili opened his door, bow still in hand and watched Fili. He was playing with his eyes closed. His expression was restful and Kili leaned against the doorframe watching him.

Fili noticed Kili had stopped playing. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He loosened his bow and set it back in the case with his violin. When he turned he was surprised to find Kili watching him. His feelings hit him with a rush: his shame, hurt, frustration that he needed his brother as much as he needed to be there for him, and his ever present lingering anger.

"Kili..." he whispered.

Kili met his brothers eyes and shook his head slightly. He wanted to yell at Fili and he wanted to be held and actually believe things would change. Instead of initiating the reconciliation he stood unmoving watching Fili's expression.

Fili's eyes drifted down to Kili's hand. "Did you ruin another bow?" he asked in a mock fretting tone.

Kili lifted the wood slightly to smirk at it. He was happy to focus on something light-hearted. As much as he wanted a long term resolution he had to pick his battles. He twirled the bow in his right hand like a baton. "Maybe," he said, winking at Fili.

Fili was relieved Kili was playing with him. It meant they could move passed this faster. He knew it was selfish, but he loved and needed Kili. He never handled their separation well. "You aren't going to impress me like that," he teased. He stalked closer to Kili with deliberate exaggeration.

"I'll have you know I am very impressive." Kili had stepped out of the door frame so he could twirl the bow into the air and catch it. In doing so, he had taken his eyes off Fili, and was taken by surprise when he was picked up. He screamed, squealed and thrashed in his arms. Fili carried him to his own room, kicked the door open and threw him on the bed.

"I believe you took a wrong turn on the way in earlier," Fili said grinning. When Kili caught his breath, Fili jumped on the bed on top of him and rolled to the side laughing. It felt good to play with him. He could relax when it was just the two of them. When it was like this he didn’t have to mind someone else's problems and expectations.

Once Kili recovered from being thrown and promptly crushed he snuck a glance at Fili. He was looking entirely too pleased and Kili decided an easy victory would never be acceptable. He grabbed the wolf stuffed animal Fili had given him and began "mauling" him in the face while making growling and barking sounds.

Fili laughed in shock and delight and played along as the victim, screaming and convulsing as Kili disemboweled and devoured him with the stuffed toy. Kili collapsed on top of him laughing with tears running down his face. Every time one of them calmed down they would look at the other and growl or pull a face and they'd be lost for another few minutes.

"Wait, wait... I can't breath," stammered Kili, sitting up and holding his chest.

"Why don't we open up your windpipe?" Fili asked forcing the wolf against Kili's throat.

Kili rolled off the bed laughing and gasping.

Both men were silent while they caught there breath. The tension returned after a few minutes of silence. Kili stood up and walked to the edge of the bed where Fili was sitting pensively.

"Fili," Kili said, catching Fili's gaze and holding it. He couldn't let this drop without addressing it in some way.

"Kili, I... I'm sorry." Fili knew there was not much else to say. He had blown up and lashed out in a way Kili hated. They had rules about what was acceptable and he had gone out of bounds with Thorin without thinking about it. He had a lot of resentment, but that wasn't an excuse. They were both tired of excuses.

"I know. Please can we not... can we just not?" Kili didn't know precisely what he was vocalizing for. No more fighting tonight? No more fights with Thorin? No more lashing out at other people when Fili was upset with Thorin? Probably everything and only the first one at once. Today had been exhausting.

Fili nodded, not certain what promise was being asked but he would do his best not to betray it - again. He held out both his arms and Kili stepped forward to embrace him. He spent a moment listening to his brother's steady heart beat and drawing comfort from his presence.

Kili laid his chin down on Fili's head and sighed. They spent several minutes like this in peace regaining the feeling of closeness they both thrived on.

"You need to wash your hair," Kili suddenly said. He lifted his head and began eyeing and toying with strands of Fili's hair.

"You're one to talk. You reek of cheap teenage boy body spray," Fili teased.

"What? I've never had any complaints!"

"You sweat so much during a show no one would even notice," Fili laughed.

Kili responded by grabbing his wolf stuffed animal and brandishing it threateningly.

"I'm the one who has to sleep with you. First thing tomorrow, we're finding you something better. First thing tonight, I'm throwing all that shit out the-"

Fili was cut off when a toy was suddenly shoved against his face. He let himself get pushed back into their large shared bed. He breathed deeply through his nose, stretched out and grabbed a pillow. He pushed Kili up with his legs and swatted him hard.

The ensuing battle lasted long into the evening until both men barely had energy to bathe and change before falling into the same bed to sleep.

 


	3. Day One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo wakes up at Ori's and begins his first day of work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay between updates. For awhile I needed to take time away from many of my hobbies and deal with things. New chapters may still be infrequent but I will do my best to keep them coming on a somewhat regular basis.

The first thing Bilbo noticed was that he was not at home. He shifted his bare legs in the too-warm flannel sheets before slipping out of bed. At Ori's insistence he had spent the night in their guest bedroom. Dwalin hadn't agreed or disagreed with the suggestion, but once his boyfriend had set his mind to it he made sure it would happen.

Lunch had run late, followed by coffee.  By this time Bilbo had sobered enough to hold up a conversation and once Ori had learned of his love of books he and Dwalin were hustled out to Farthing's, his favorite bookstore. Dwalin had shadowed the two smaller men as they gushed over their favorite authors and flitted between the shelves, handing each other recommendations, and occasionally entering a heated debate about a classical writer. Ori wasn't sold on what he considered out-dated satire by Voltaire, and Bilbo refused to attempt the work of Joseph Conrad. Dwalin had broken up their argument by grabbing an astrology book from the nearby Metaphysics section and reading it aloud, until all conversation and debate turned into laughter.

When Bilbo had attempted to pay for his selection, Ori had handed the cashier a matte black credit card and told her to combine their purchases. Dwalin had gathered up the bags without a word while Ori shuffled them out to the car.

Now that he had a clear head he realized he had not actually been invited to spend the night, nor had he asked. It had just happened. Dwalin had driven them all home and Ori had ushered him to the guest room, apologizing about cat furniture. Dwalin had later appeared outside his door, silently offering a large cotton t-shirt.

Once left alone Bilbo had stripped off his clothes, except for his boxers and pulled on the borrowed shirt. It was comfortably worn-thin and soft. He had fallen into bed and could barely consider pulling the covers up before he was asleep.

The second thing he noticed was the sound of scratching at his door. He laid in bed sorting his thoughts until the sound became more insistent, followed by loud meowing. He stumbled forward testily and yanked the door open. Two bengal cats eyed him before cutting between his legs into the room. One jumped across a succession of hanging shelves before settling in front of the window. The other sat on the pillow Bilbo had been using and gave him a judgemental look before grooming herself.

Bilbo rolled his eyes and abandoned his room. After a quick stop at the bathroom he made his way to the kitchen. Ori was sitting on a bar stool in front of the high countertop that served as their breakfast table. Dwalin was staring intensely into the whirring microwave. He took a quick, side glance at Bilbo before stating, "So you've met them, eh?"

"Who? Oh those them. Sassy beasts," Bilbo replied accepting the hot tea Ori had poured out for him.

Dwalin scoffed. "Sassy? They are magnificent-"

"Primadonnas." Ori finished for him. "Honestly, you'd never imagine all I went through convincing him to check out the rescue in the first place. I swear he'd take them everywhere strapped to his back if he could."

"What are their names?" Bilbo asked, attempting not to pick sides in what seemed to be a long standing subject.

"Grasper and Keeper," Dwalin answered proudly.

"It's not what you think," Ori offered.

"What do I think?" Bilbo asked cautiously.

"They're rough, masculine names, right?"

"Right..?" Bilbo looked from Ori to Dwalin who was watching him intensely.

"Wrong. Dwalin's a huge sap, it's actually how we met. He named them after-" What they were named after Bilbo never heard. Dwalin had reached over the counter, lifted Ori up and kissed him fiercely.

Bilbo blushed and looked away, watching the seconds count down on the microwave. 3...2...1... when it finally beeped Dwalin adruptly set down a flustered looking Ori, who did not meet Bilbo's gaze for some time.

"Ori, love will you get the plates?" Dwalin asked sweetly. Ori just glared back at him.

"I'm not lifting a finger for you, mister." Ori answered darkly laying his arms over his lap.

"I'm sure you've lifted something," Dwalin flirted.

Bilbo coughed. "So, what did the both of you make. To eat," he added quickly.

"I didn't make anything," Ori emphasized. "We take turns cooking, and while I wouldn't call this cooking... it's nice to have," he finished delicately, aware of Dwalin's eyes on him.

Dwalin set down a plate of sausage breakfast sandwiches and began setting them onto napkins. Bilbo and Ori took theirs gratefully, and once Dwalin was satisfied they had eaten enough he dug in to the remaining three.

"Where does it all go?" Bilbo blurted out.

Dwalin simply lifted his arm and flexed, broadening and showcasing his already defined muscles. Bilbo was impressed. Ori covered his face in his hand and muttered.

His phone buzzed on the counter and after flicking through it, he turned in his stool to face Bilbo. "We need to talk about work."

"Do we have to?"

"Well, here's the thing. You've already been started. Thorin is meeting you at your place in two hours."

"What?"

"I don't know. Call me when you're off and we'll come get you so we can work out your contract."

Bilbo moaned miserably and stared into his half empty tea cup.

"I'm afraid it's not enough to drown yourself in, lad." Dwalin jested.

Bilbo snorted and downed the rest of it.

"That's what got you here in the first place!"

Bilbo nearly choked on the rest as he laughed. He may be in over his head but he had allies, maybe even friends.

Ori's phone buzzed again and he quickly answered it and left the room speaking in hushed tones. He motioned to Bilbo and tugged on his own trousers for emphasis before stepping completely out of sight.

"I suppose I should get dressed," Bilbo admitted, slightly embarrassed. It finally occurred to him that he was half dressed in his boss's assistant's boyfriend's old shirt and his underwear. He'd really gone through the looking glass with this adventure, and tried not to think about the propriety of the Bagginses.

He quickly dressed in last night's clothes. He had to pull his now more wrinkled shirt out from under Grasper or Keeper who glared at him before jumping on to a high shelf and settling herself facing away from him. "Good morning," he said with finality when he finished remaking the guest bed and left the room.

"Did you just 'good morning' my cats?" Dwalin asked, suddenly behind Bilbo.

"Yes?" he answered uncertainly, aware of Dwalin's pride and protectiveness for the felines.

"I've arranged for a ride back to yours. I'm sure you won't mind seeing yourself out. I've got some business of my own to get to." He looked pointedly in the direction Ori had walked away and winked at Bilbo.

"O-of course not. Thanks for yesterday and last night and... thank you." Bilbo had a hard time conveying that his and Ori's company had meant much more than a day out. He began to feel a little insecure over the sentiment and smiled instead of elaborating.

Dwalin smiled back and smacked Bilbo on the shoulder. "Now get out of my house," he said kindly.

Bilbo smirked and did a final pat down of his pockets before heading towards the door. "Goodbye, Ori!" he shouted.

"Oh, you're leaving?" Ori asked, suddenly popping out of what Bilbo assumed was a home office. "We can drop you off," he continued, looking from Bilbo to Dwalin. Bilbo was shaking his head blushing and Dwalin was giving him that look.

"Dwalin has already made the arrangements. Thanks again, I'll call you soon." Bilbo quickly walked out and closed the door behind him. He heard a mock shout and laughing as he walked towards the black car idling on the street.

"Bilbo Baggins?" the driver asked as he approached.

"Yes." Bilbo was thrown off by the expensive car and wordlessly stepped in when the driver got out and opened the door for him. They accelerated out as soon as he buckled his seat belt.

"Do you know where my place is?" he asked.

The driver briefly met his eyes through the rear view mirror and continued driving silently.

"I take it you work for Erebor too, huh?" Bilbo tried again.

"You could say that," the driver offered noncomittally.

The rest of the drive passed in silence until they reached their destination. The driver swiftly got out of his seat and stood aside with Bilbo's door open before he had stirred enough to undo his seatbelt.

"We're here," the unknown man said.

Bilbo stumbled out apologetically. He saw some amusement flash across the other man's face before it was quickly replaced with neutrality.

Once Bilbo was out, the driver reentered the car and drove away before further pleasantries could be exchanged. While he hadn't gotten the man's name he wouldn't forget the distinct hairstyle and glinting eyebrow piercing.

He quickly checked the time on his cell phone before fishing out his keys and unlocking the front door. He had just enough time to shower and change before Thorin was expected.

\--

Of all the times Bilbo had neglected his laundry he keenly felt this was the worst.  He had only just surrendered to his available wardrobe when he heard the doorbell ring once.  He hurried over to answer it. The initial interview had been unorthodox, to put it mildly, and he didn't know what to expect.

"Good day," Thorin stated. "I trust Ori has made clear what will be expected of you and the terms of your employment."

"Er..." Bilbo was unsure how to explain he had simply left for a night out with Ori and Dwalin. Under the intensity of Thorin's glare he began to attempt an explanation. "He felt that a fairer contract could be drawn up if I had a better idea of what a normal day would entail."

"Did he?" Thorin stared at Bilbo without a hint of pleasure.

"Would you like to come in?" Bilbo tried to change the subject. It also didn't seem right to leave his new boss standing on his porch like a solicitor.

"No. Follow me." Thorin turned on his heel and walked back to his car. At first glance it looked black but it shone and glittered shades of blue when the light hit it.

Bilbo hurried after him wondering why Erebor bothered with personal drivers when the family seemed content to drive themselves around. Something to do with status? Employee quotas? He had no idea and hardly cared. He didn't get a chance to let his mind drift because as soon as he slid into the front passenger seat Thorin had begun speaking.

"Today you will accompany them to a radio interview. It has also reached my knowledge they may be planning some sort of shopping errand afterwards. While mixing with the general population is an admirable activity and great for advertising, try to talk them out of it."

"You want me to talk two grown men out of going to a shop?" Bilbo was irritated and shifted in the leather seat. His initial suspicions were right. He had been hired as some absurd sort of nanny.

"If you cannot accomplish that you are, at minimum, required to ensure that chaos is kept at maintainable levels. I want no reports of property damage from whatever excitement they provoke."

Thorin continued on, matter-of-factly while Bilbo began to feel increasingly uncomfortable. Whatever emotional admission he had been given the night before began to fade when presented with precise expectations. It seemed Thorin was in complete control of Fili and Kili's lives, and what he couldn't directly command he outsourced so that others pulled the strings for him. Bilbo resolved to see the day through, but was already mentally dictating his conversation with Ori later when they pulled into a driveway next to an identical car.

"I have made myself clear enough. Know that if today ends in bad press or liability I will hold you as accountable as the boys. Further, if you cannot handle local promotional events and assignments you will be terminated before going on tour and any prior contracts and agreements will be dissolved at that time."

Bilbo had been flashing between indignation and speechless fury throughout the ride over and was near seething. 

They approached the glass doorway in silence, and despite having already driven through a secure gate, there was another paging system built into the entryway. Thorin ignored this and unlocked the door, pulling it open and ushering Bilbo in.

Bilbo walked forward and instead of following him Thorin simply shut the door behind him and walked back to the car. Thorin only flicked his eyes back in his direction once before pulling out of the driveway and speeding off.

He sighed. His first encounter with Kili and Fili had been just short of disastrous. While he was not going to let himself be bullied into submission he was aware that the day would begin on their terms. He was already at a disadvantage since he had just been deposited in their entryway. Were they even expecting him?

He took out his phone and flicked to Ori's contact page. Did he want to quit? Find out if Thorin was really serious? Before he could settle his thoughts and make a decision Kili found him.

He'd walked into the room winding his hair into a loose bun at the nape of his neck and hardly seemed surprised to see Bilbo standing in his entryway.

"I much prefer you like this, Mr. Boggins," he said cheerily. "I take it you'll be joining us today?"

While Bilbo may have originally humored someone as energetic (and attractive) as Kili, their initial meeting had made him suspicious. How did he prefer him? Silent?  In his house with no one to witness his and his brother's appalling behavior? Stranded?

Bilbo's glowering expression confused Kili. Surely, he wouldn't let what happened yesterday sour an honest compliment? If he was this sensitive Fili would be the least of his problems.

The silence dragged awkwardly as the two men looked at each other. Bilbo was the first to crack, blurting "So, it's just you here?"

"No, Fili and I share it. I just can't go in for the grand, showy lifestyle," he explained.

Bilbo's eyes flicked around the room taking in the modern furnishings and plushy rugs laid over wood flooring. Coupled with the multiple security systems just to enter and he'd have a hard time divorcing the abode from either claim. "Really?"

The resolutely unimpressed expression on the smaller man's face made Kili laugh. "I guess I see what you mean. Let me put this in perspective for you, remember Thorin's place?"

"I've never been to Thorin's place. I just went to Erebor Tower yesterday for the interview and he dumped me here today."

Kili raised his eyebrows and nodded.

Bilbo's expression shifted to disbelief. "No. Why would he? How could he? Why would anyone?" he muttered in quick succession, not really addressing his companion.

"Exactly. Not grand or showy. Come in, Fili is still fussing over himself." Kili gestured forward and followed Bilbo into the main room, enjoying the way his hips moved when he walked. He glanced towards the open door to his bedroom and back to Bilbo's fitted pants. They may not have been provocative on anyone else but Bilbo's full thighs pulled them tight and put other assets on display.

Bilbo took a seat in the lone armchair closest to Kili's room and took in his surroundings. He wished he'd brought a book. When his eyes moved over Kili his heart thumped. The look on his face was one of genuine hunger and he seemed to be taking great pleasure in appraising Bilbo. This again?  He met his eyes defiantly. He was not going to shirk away or fall into another man's bed over a lusty gaze.

Kili had lost focus. While Bilbo had appeared unenticingly average the day before, his worn jeans and too-tight shirt were showing exactly the kind of figure had been hiding under that dress shirt. Bilbo's arms were thick with muscle but had enough weight to soften all the lines and create a tempting silhouette. Between his jeans and shirt, the shape of his fatty hips were on display and Kili wanted nothing more than to get his hands on them. When he noticed Bilbo meeting his gaze intensely, he strolled forward and leaned down so they were at eye level. "Do you want to know what I meant earlier?"

"Sure," Bilbo answered, trying to keep his composure. He was close enough to see every hair on Kili's short beard. He watched as he licked his smooth lips before continuing.

"I could see you weren't all there yesterday. Not how you prefer to be, and while you might still be less secure today in this get-up," he paused to drag his finger down Bilbo's chest. He stopped at his waist line and lifted his arm back up to press against the wall. He was now leaning down into Bilbo and crowding him into the chair. He dipped his head forward so his lips nearly brushed the other man's ear. "I find the view achingly appealing."

Bilbo felt a blush rise up to his ears. While he wanted to hold a grudge he was losing the battle against his body. He breathed in deeply. "You smell good," he exhaled.

Kili pulled back to smile at him. Some hair had come loose from his bun and tickled against the other man's face. He was about to push forward when he heard Fili's shower shut off. He had to stop himself from groaning in frustration. "Thank you," he said before rising and walking into his room, only half closing the door.

Bilbo heard the sound of a zip and clothes rustling. Surely he didn't mean for him to follow him? Thorin's lecture on the way over ran through his mind and he was nearly convinced to join Kili just to bring the whole non-existent contract down in flames, when the brunette reappeared in a more relaxed pair of jeans with his instrument in hand.

Without looking at Bilbo again, Kili slumped back onto the couch with his knees spread wide. He dragged his bow over the strings, noncommittally yielding sound that never became music.

A little perplexed, Bilbo asked "Isn't that out of tune?"

"How can you tell?" Kili responded conversationally, continuing with his erratic tempo.

"I'm not sure how anyone could miss it."

"That's kind of the point." He smirked mischievously and met Bilbo's eyes again before increasing his speed and shifting to higher notes.

"Kili!" Fili's voice called from the other room.

"Yes?" He was now switching between low and high sounds with no melody in between.

"For god's sake, quit it or I will be forced to put her out of her misery!" Fili entered the room, clearly still in the middle of getting ready. He was shirtless with a towel draped over his shoulders. His long hair was loose, damp and slightly wavy. He had black jeans and his tight, studded belt on. Unlike Bilbo, there was no swell of fat over his waist band. His high hips were clearly defined and there was a sharp line of chest hair trailing out of sight. Bilbo noted that despite Kili and Thorin's appearance, Fili was a natural blond.

"If you don't want Henrietta to suffer, perhaps you shouldn't take so long primping yourself."

Fili's eyes briefly took in Bilbo before responding to his brother. "I am less worried about Henrietta than I am about the house spontaneously igniting to rid the world of those hellish sounds."

Kili laughed at the hyperbole. "Well, how about you take much, much longer," he said and cast a significant glance in Bilbo's direction before returning his focus to Fili.

Fili rolled his eyes and lifted his towel up to dry his hair. "What time is it?" he asked, directing his question to Bilbo.

If Bilbo had been ready to respond his words were lost when he took in the twin barbells pierced into the blonde's nipples. These men would be the death of him he thought, watching Fili's critical gaze relax as he continued the mundane task of drying his hair.

Kili coughed. "It's time for you to get a watch!" he answered, on Bilbo's behalf.

Both men groaned. Bilbo rolled his eyes and Fili looked weary. He dried his hands before snatching the instrument from Kii with one hand and whipping him across the chest with his towel with the other. He held his arms up high as he exited the room.

"I can always use yours!" Kili threatened.

"You wouldn't dare you mutt!" Fili turned and shot his brother a glare before reentering his room and closing the door.

Bilbo hadn't missed the tattoo that peaked out above the back of Fili's pants. Why was he here again? He checked the time on his phone instinctually.

"Hey, what time is it really?" Kili hadn't missed the other man's distraction or how he had responded to his elder. He wasn't the type to let insecurity or jealousy stop his pursuit - especially when it came to Fili.

"Um," Bilbo rechecked his phone, "10:48."

"Shit, we're supposed to be on Esgaroth radio in an hour." Kili bolted out of his chair and ran into Fili's room without pause. He left the door open so Bilbo overheard the conversation within without difficulty.

"Hey!"

"Just throw anything on!"

"Are you kidding me?"

"It's a radio show, no one is going to see you!"

"Like hell no one will!"

"Just cover up so we can go."

"Hang on, where did you put the brush?"

"I swear I will drown you in your sink if you think you have time to shave right now."

"Just get out, I'm almost done."

Kili reemerged looking slightly ruffled. He opened a closet door and pulled on a leather coat. He looked back at Bilbo and threw a regretful glance to his bedroom. "Let's get some air."

"Right," Bilbo nodded his assent. He quickly walked out of the room and left the house. He stood on the porch surveying the gray clouds. "Of course it would rain."

"Why of course?" Kili asked, having caught up.

"I'm not exactly dressed for it," he gestured at his snug, thin shirt.

"Mm indeed," Kili agreed. He began to debate the merits of offering Bilbo a coat or seeing if he looked just as delicious wet. Both arguments won points before he was stirred by Bilbo's voice.

"Seriously?"

"What?"

"You keep staring at me as if I was some fine cut of man, and while I can appreciate passing the time, I could hardly render you unable to focus - repeatedly and frequently. The gag is getting tired."

"Gags, huh?" Kili said meeting Bilbo's eyes suggestively.

"Ugh, forget I said anything," Bilbo muttered.

Fili appeared between them and took in Bilbo's embarrassed discomfort and Kili's smug expression. He didn't want to know. "Gentlemen," he stated before leading the way to the car.

Fili sat in the driver's seat with Kili beside him which left Bilbo to sit alone in the back. He took a closer look at Kili. His hair was hardly tamed and they both needed a shave. At least he had picked a fitted coat today. "Wait, didn't you put on different pants after your shower?" he asked.

"I fancied a looser fit," Kili offered casually.

Fili noticed Bilbo shift in the back seat. When he leaned back and looked over his shoulder to reverse the car he looked at Bilbo until he met his eyes. He subtly inclined his head towards Kili and shook it back and forth narrowing his eyes before shifting his gaze back to the road behind him.

Bilbo frowned. While he didn't understand the intention behind Fili's message, he got the meaning. Apparently, both brothers didn't feel the same about putting yesterday behind them. If anything, Fili still owed him an apology, one that would not be pardoned by looking fantastic shirtless.

Once they were on the road it started to drizzle. Bilbo grumbled to himself as he watched the drops slide across the window.

"Hey!" Kili called. He was leaning into the back seat reaching next to Bilbo.

"Kili!" Fili said warningly, sparing his brother a glance before returning his focus forward.

"I think I left my sweater in the car last night. You can wear that!" Kili continued helpfully.

Bilbo grabbed the crumpled hoodie before Kili climbed out of his seat attempting to retrieve it for him. He was about to pull it over his head until he got a whiff of the pungent and heavy musk emanating from it. "No thank you," he said, placing the offending garment as far away as possible.

"I told you," Fili said laughing.

Kili looked offended. Bilbo ignored the discussion in favor of finding the passenger window controls. Once successful, he breathed deeply ignoring the small drops of water finding their way into the car.

Kili turned to face Bilbo. "You said you liked how I smell," he pouted.

"You yes, that absolutely not. That," he said gesturing at the sweater, "is an affront to the olfactory of anyone passed puberty."

Fili tried not to laugh and ending up spluttering indelicately into a fake coughing fit. "We'll find you something more... appealing afterwards," he said after recovering.

"No need," said Kili confidently, "I smell amazing."


	4. Esgaroth Radio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio goes to Esgaroth Radio and Bilbo makes a new acquaintance, much to Kili's discomfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy unannounced hiatus, Batman! I haven't fallen off the fandom wagon but I've needed to focus more on life and spend less time distracting myself. I'm still interested in this story and characters and updates will continue although I can't promise a schedule right now. I hope you understand and continue to enjoy reading when I can update.

The ride passed quickly.  Kili and Bilbo chatted about whatever came to their mind while Fili drove in silence.  His mood seemed to become grimmer as the trip went on.  When they pulled into the station's parking lot he was so lost in his dark cloud he seemed to have forgotten Bilbo was there - or forgotten to fake any courtesies towards him. 

The rain fell heavier during their trip and by the time they stepped out of the car it was pelting down.  Fili grabbed Kili and ran towards the studio leaving Bilbo to follow after them.  By the time he made it in the building his thin shirt was soaked through and his hair was weighted down with water.  Fili ushered his brother forward without acknowledging Bilbo.  If it wasn't for Kili looking back he would have been thrown out since he didn’t have any sort of badge identifying him as The Durins' staff.

The three men were directed into a conference area half full of people already in the midst of a pre-show meeting.  The group must have been tensely awaiting their arrival because when Fili and Kili appeared they visibly relaxed and conversations became less anxious. 

Bilbo leaned against the wall with his arms crossed as the meeting absorbed the two other men.  No one offered him a chair or paid him any attention.  He decided to observe the attendants while he slowly dripped dry onto their carpet.  While the Esgaroth staff seemed exuberant there was a manufactured, insincere air to the small talk.  They asked general questions they would likely repeat and try to wring out expanded answers to on air.

Fili behaved in a way Bilbo had never seen.  He was charming.  He made eye contact with everyone who spoke to him and smiled easily.  He laughed at every joke, was gracious in the face of obvious flattery and answered questions in a way that seemed open and casual.  Kili was cheerful and friendly but appeared more natural and less calculated.  Either way, neither man was at risk for being viewed poorly.  Half the attendants seemed completely enamored with them.  Bilbo had to admit their slightly dampened, wavy hair and long stubble didn't hurt any.

"You must be cold," a soft voice said from next to Bilbo.

"What?  Yes, a bit," Bilbo answered.  He stopped rubbing his hands over his arms to shake the hand of the young woman in front of him.  "My name is Bilbo, I'm the... I work with The Durins."

"Essie.  I'm an intern here.  I can't believe they've left you like this, do you want to go get into something more comfortable?"

"What?" Bilbo asked a little loudly.  The meeting stalled and everyone looked in their direction.  Fili quickly reengaged the group but Kili's eyes lingered.

"Oh god, not like that," Essie quickly assured.  "I mean we've got some spare clothes.  It's just publicity swag but it's probably better than a wet shirt."

"That would be wonderful, thank you."

"Come on, let's go see what we've got," Essie opened the door and gestured out.

"Er...  I probably shouldn't leave."  Thorin's lecture was replaying in Bilbo's head.

Essie raised a single brow and gave him an incredulous look.  "What's your size?"

"A large, please.  Thank you!"  He felt awkward.  This girl was trying to help him and it sounded like he was blowing her off.

Essie returned later with a plain black hoody with ESGAROTH RADIO printed across the chest.  "I saved you the trip to the storeroom, but I doubt you'll feel warm if you put that over your wet shirt."

"You're probably right," Bilbo said as he disengaged himself from the sweater he had halfway over his head.

"Come on, I'll show you where you can change," Essie offered again.  "They'll be alright," she added when he hesitated.

Bilbo glanced back over to Fili and Kili.  Fili had steered the meeting to ask about ongoing publicity options for their upcoming tour.  It seemed they would stay locked in until the last moment when they needed to go on air.  Kili nodded periodically but kept glancing towards Bilbo.  They locked eyes when he walked out with Essie.  Much to Bilbo's confusion, they narrowed slightly as he watched him leave.

Essie herded Bilbo down a fluorescent lit hallway until he reached the staff bathroom.  "Go on.  I'll wait here to walk you back to your precious babies," she teased.

"Precious babies?" Bilbo repeated making a face.

Essie laughed.  "The way you look at them!  What are you like a nanny or something?"  When Bilbo looked stricken she added, "but a manly nanny, I mean."  Bilbo's expression changed from shock to amusement.  Essie flushed.  "Oh, please just take your clothes off so we can get this over with.  I mean - oh god.  Go in there please so I can kill myself," she blushed deeper and hid her face behind her hands.

Bilbo was surprised.  Why was this young woman so nervous around him?  He really was nothing special.  She was petite and had short, curly, brown hair.  She had a curvy figure and a relaxed style.  Her only jewelry was a single ear cuff on one ear.  Yes, she definitely was not interested in him. 

"Please don't kill yourself," he waited until she peeked at him before continuing, "how will I find my way back to my precious babies?" he said with a straight face, causing her to giggle.

"Shut up and get dressed," she said with a smile, grateful she hadn't completely humiliated herself.

"I thought you wanted me to take off my clothes," Bilbo flirted.  Oh god, where had that come from?  His new colleagues were a terrible influence.  He shut himself in the bathroom before more could be said.

He looked at himself in the large mirror.  His shirt clung to him tightly.  His nipples were hardened from the cold and clearly visible.  The fabric molded against his chest and slightly round belly.  The pants he'd been stuck with today were a little too small causing his hips to jut out past the waistband.  His toned shoulders were also on display but Bilbo paid them no mind.  He coaxed nearly half a roll of paper towels out of the dispenser and began wiping down his hair.  When it was at least no longer dripping he peeled off his shirt and dried off his upper half.  He pulled on the sweater which was comfortably soft and fleecy on the inside and stepped back out. 

Essie was standing a few feet away from the door tapping her phone screen.  She looked up when Bilbo exited.  "Better?"

Bilbo nodded.  "Thank you."

"It's nothing.  Just doin' what they pay me for," Essie responded, tucking away her phone and walking back the way they came.

"Esgaroth has paid interns?" Bilbo asked.

"Nope," Essie answered.  She turned around and winked at Bilbo before opening the door to a different room.  Before Bilbo could protest she explained that this was a room adjacent to the recording area.  He wouldn't be able to talk to The Durins again until their time was over but he could see them through the glass.

The room he had entered was dimly lit.  Most of the light streamed in from a huge pane of glass separating this room from the recording area.  The rest was from control panels, dials, computer monitors and a bright ON AIR sign affixed prominently on a wall.  The people working inside looked up when he entered.  After a quick glance he was ignored.  Essie gestured him to an empty chair and handed him a pair of headphones. 

He sat down and placed the headphones over his ears.  They were large, padded and noise canceling.  Once he had them on he could clearly hear Kili and Fili's voice as if they weren't separated by a sheet of sound proof glass.  He glanced back but Essie had already left.  He shrugged off the encounter and got his bearings.

Fili and Kili were sitting next to each other across a desk and several professional mics away from the most superficial pair from the meeting earlier.  Their cheery routine might engage someone slugging through their work day but in person it was almost creepy.  Their smiles never met their eyes and while they energetically fired questions out they didn't seem to care about the answers they were given.

Bilbo noticed the sound techs laughing and slipped off one of his earphones to share in the joke.

"Can you believe these guys, what do they mean 'they never expected to make it'?  They're fucking heirs of Erebor!" 

This comment was referring to Kili's on-air confession that there were surprised their music had taken off and become popular.  "So because their uncle is rich they can't take pride in their own success?" Bilbo cut in.  He couldn't sit quietly with the boys humoring the boring lunch hour hosts in one ear and listen to the tech crew rip them apart with the other.

The original speaker looked Bilbo up and down and smirked at his partner.  The second man spoke up, "You're new right, first day intern?  I saw Essie walk you in."

The man spoke with kindness in his eyes, but Bilbo didn't trust him.  He didn't say anything and stared back at him.

The man wasn’t fazed by Bilbo's resistance.  "First things first, just shut up until you know what is actually going on and I mean that in the nicest possible way."  He paused before continuing, "rich guys like this, they're in no lose situations.  They've probably had musical training since they could talk and any attempt or mistake they've ever made or will ever make will be cushioned by the treasure hoards of Erebor."

Bilbo opened his mouth to defend them but shut it again before speaking.

"What are the odds they can even relate to real life?  We do indie bands here all the time that have to sacrifice everything for a chance at what these guys are handed."

"Money can't spare you every pain and will not remove every obstacle," Bilbo finally replied.

The first man laughed sardonically.  "What next, 'money can't buy everything'?  Kid you don't know sorrow any more than those brats do."

Bilbo's blood rushed to his face and his heart pounded.  He slipped the headphone back over his ear and stared straight through the glass focusing on breathing deeply.  He was not the type of man to resort to violence over nothing and he wasn't about to start now.

Whether or not the techs continued the same strain of conversation, fell into silence, or yammered on about something else he never knew.  He did his best to ignore the sight of them and listened instead to the answers Fili and Kili were giving.  In truth, he had never heard of or listened to The Durins and he was spared the embarrassment of asking for a primer by hearing them talk about it themselves.

 

\--

 

The interview dragged more than usual for Kili.  He was surprised when Bilbo had left with that woman.  Usually when Thorin hired someone to work with them they followed them around like a shadow until they were so miserable they quit or just never came back.  Whether or not that misery was due in part to his and Fili's direct actions was debatable.  Bilbo had glanced back at him and he had felt a flash of something.  Jealousy, suspicion, affection?  He shrugged it off and went back to flirting with the producers.  Besides, no one hired to work with them ever stayed anyways.  He doubted Bilbo would even last until tour started.

Fili had noticed the small exchange between Bilbo and the woman as well as Kili's subtle change in posture as they left together.  He had yet to form any positive opinion of the man so he was unsurprised by his sudden abandonment.  Without pausing he slipped back into work.  He was aware Kili didn't have much in him for these extended superficial affairs so he tried to take on most of the talking.

The interview finally ended and Fili and Kili left the recording room through a side door at the first commercial break.  They weren't really expected to stick around on air and after a certain point even the studio's welcome waned.

Fili noticed Bilbo first.  He made his way to them, apologizing to every person he had to push through as he walked over.  His hair was ruffled and sticking up in places and he wasn't wearing what he had entered in.  He scoffed and looked away.  "Walk of shame," he muttered.

Kili noticed Fili's reaction first before taking in Bilbo's appearance.  An unfamiliar feeling flared up in him and he felt angry without being able to justify it.

"Hi, great interview guys," Bilbo said when he reached them.

Both men avoided eye contact with him.  "Thanks..." Kili finally managed.

"What-" Bilbo began.

"Bilbo!"  Essie yelled.

Bilbo turned back the way he came to see Essie charging towards them.  "You forgot this!" she said panting when she finally reached them.  She offered up his sodden shirt.

"Thanks, I must have left it in the staff bathroom."  Bilbo was happy to see a reminder that not everyone employed by Esgaroth Radio was superficial.

Fili's eyebrows raised and Kili watched the exchange mutely.

"How could you leave this behind?  This shirt is from their first tour and now they've disbanded.  I don't even think they make merch anymore!"  Essie had gotten a job at Esgaroth to commodify her lifelong love of music and Bilbo had walked in with a vintage band shirt from one of her favorite defunct bands.

"What, this?  It hardly fits me anymore," Bilbo said.  He looked over the cracked and faded design on the front.  "It's kind of embarrassing to go out in," he said quietly.

"You must have some pretty serious cred to consider that a laundry day shirt," Essie said, half joking.

Bilbo caught on quickly and added "Oh yeah, I've almost filled enough punch cards to get a free guitar."

"What?  That's amazing!  I guess that's what I get for spending all my goth cred on the free eyeliner!" 

Both Essie and Bilbo laughed at their inside joke.  Fili was getting impatient and he was not comfortable with how Kili was looking at them.

Bilbo noticed the boys fidgeting and interpreted their discomfort as an eagerness to leave.  "Listen Essie, I've got to go.  Thanks for everything today and if you really like that shirt so much you can keep it."

"Really?" she said, gripping the shirt excitedly.

"Yes, I have generously bestowed upon you my old and dirty shirt.  May it bring you great success," he said as seriously as he could manage.

Kili had walked the final paces to the back exit and shoved the door open.  Fili followed quickly behind them and Bilbo had no choice but to cut his goodbyes short.  He waved briefly before hurrying after them.  Before he reached the car Essie caught up to him one more time.

"Hey, wait.  Here's my card.  One of the few job perks - free business cards," Essie explained.

"Oh thanks," Bilbo accepted it.  He debated how wet his jeans pockets were and whether it would get ruined if he put it away now.

"You're the first person working with a band who didn't radiate pompous douche bag so you're the lucky winner of my first business card."  Essie smiled.  She had a naturally friendly personality and a contagious smile.

"Th-thanks," Bilbo blushed at the compliment.  "I really need to go."  He could almost feel the impatience radiating off of his companions.  He walked the final paces to the car and opened the door.  Fili and Kili were already waiting inside. 

Before he closed his door, Essie hollered "Thank you for being my first," and giggled at the blush that rose on Bilbo's cheeks.

Mortified and flattered he closed the door and sat with his head in his hands hiding his likely goofy grin.  Once he was sure he had more control over his expression he asked, "Where to next?"

Fili and Kili sat in silence.  Fili could care less about the promiscuous antics of Thorin's newest hire but Kili seemed affected and that bothered him.  Remembering their talk last night he tried to stay restrained.

"What the fuck, Bilbo?"  Fili managed to not shout.  So much for restraint.

"What?"  Bilbo asked surprised, his smile slipping.  He scanned back through the day trying to find some fault in his behavior.  Was he mad because he left the meeting early?  His line of thinking was disturbed by Fili turning in his seat to face him.  He looked downright hostile.

"Don't you dare think I'm going to spell it out for you," Fili began venomously, though his volume was even and low.  "You have yet to display any relevant skills, but at minimum I expected you to be professional."  He spat the last word.

Bilbo looked towards Kili for some help or explanation but could see from the mirrors that he was as far from the conversation as possible.  Bilbo ran through his interactions at the station again.  "Is this about me arguing with the sound guy?  If you knew what he'd said you wouldn't disagree with me."

"What!" Kili shouted.  He got out of the car and opened the back passenger door.  He grabbed Bilbo by his sweater and hauled him out.

Fili did a quick check to make sure the parking lot was clear before turning the car off and stepping out.  He stood a few feet away from the other men observing.  It wasn't often Kili involved himself in conflict and whatever this was would need to play out naturally to resolve at all.

Bilbo's eyes flashed from confusion to distrust.  He had begun to expect better of Kili and wrenched his body out of his grip.  The two men stood apart glaring at one another.

"He means not so subtly disappearing with that girl and not so subtly returning with sex hair and different clothes on," Kili fiercely explained.

"Sex hair?" Bilbo shouted incredulously.  He ran his hands through his hair and when he encountered tangles and unruly tufts he paused.  "Oh," he said.

Kili looked at him unimpressed.

"I dried it off in the bathroom, okay!  I didn't want to be gone long so I just scrubbed at it with paper towels.  I hardly took the time to style it on the way out!  Same story for the sweater.  I was soaked through and Essie grabbed something dry for me to put on."  He hadn't realized how bad this all looked until it was right in his face, glaring daggers at him.  Bilbo continued, "I was only gone for a few minutes, but by the time I got back you guys were on air and I could only sit in on the tech side."

"First time?" Fili interrupted.

"Oh for fuck's sake."  Bilbo whipped out Essie's business card and held it out to him.

"So you got her number?" Kili asked.

"No!  Yes.  You guys are idiots."

"You are naive," Fili retorted.

"We talked music; she gave me her business card because she works for a music station!  It's networking!  She's just an intern and probably came off a little eager." 

As easy as it was for the brothers to boil into a rage, admitting they were even partially wrong or apologizing was rare to impossible.  They both stood in silence.

"While my sex life, is none of your business," Bilbo emphasized, "I am a professional and don't go into work looking to get fucked.  Plus, I'm not that easy," he added.

Kili gave him a slight half smile and winked.

Fili breathed in sharply.  He was not fond of Bilbo.  He did not care for the rapport he was developing with Kili.

The men piled back into the car.

"What's next on the agenda?" Bilbo asked.

Fili flicked Essie's card into the backseat and started the engine.  Bilbo glared at him through the rear view.  He worked his phone out of his tight jeans pocket and checked his messages for itinerary info.  Sure enough there were unread messages from Thorin detailing the rest of their day.

"First thing, we're getting you out of that god awful Esgaroth swag," Kili said.

"My place is a little out of the way from here... what's wrong with my sweater anyway?" Bilbo asked.

"If you insist on being a walking billboard you may as well make yourself useful," Fili said coldly.

"You want me to wear your stuff?  Isn't that kind of like masturbation?" Bilbo scoffed.

Fili clenched his jaw.

"We can talk wanking later," Kili flirted before Fili could respond.  His eyes were flicking between his brother and into the rear view to look at Bilbo.

Bilbo was scrolling through his phone and looked up.  "Thor-.  Didn't you need to pick up a few things at some mall, store, something?"  Bilbo asked.  Fili had made sure that he wasn't yet loyal to the boys but he still did not feel comfortable mindlessly following Thorin's orders.

"That was the plan..." Kili trailed off, tousling his hair with his hand.  He looked at Fili until his brother spared him a glance away from the road.  Something in his expression said it wasn't out of the question.  "Yeah, we've got some errands to run.  We can get your stuff while we're there."

Fili looked towards Kili again before making his way back onto the freeway.  Today was going to be a long day.


	5. Uptown Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get steamy... or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Text messages will appear between slashes.
> 
> I think this is my longest chapter yet. Enjoy. :)

By the time they pulled into the mall parking lot the rain had subsided but the day was still dark and overcast.  Bilbo pulled his hood up to shield himself from the breeze.  While he had a warm and dry top, his pants were still mostly wet and the cool air went right through them.

It was in this moment, huddled up and walking into what Thorin had assured him would be imminent demise by rabid fans that he became inspired.

"Wait!" he called after Kili and Fili.

Fili rolled his eyes and turned around waiting several paces away from Bilbo.  Kili looked at him expectantly.

"Do you have any kind of plan?" Bilbo asked, ignoring the tone Fili was setting with his body language.

Fili blinked at him before finally answering, "We intend to review products and exchange currency for goods.  I thought that was clear already." He seemed weary and exasperated.

Kili was more patient and indulgent.  "What do you mean?"

"You guys are nationally famous musicians right?"

Fili interrupted him with a scoff.

Bilbo continued with more irritation apparent in his voice.  "So you're just going to wander into a crowded building with few exits and maximum visibility just like that?"

Fili returned to stare at him.  "You would rather we elevate ourselves in status simply because people are more aware of us?  Do you, like Thorin, feel that simply running an errand is now beneath us?  Shall I return to a glass box to be admired?"  His volume was increasing and he spoke more intensely as he grilled Bilbo.  Kili placed a hand on his arm to stop him.

Kili looked to Bilbo.  "We can't spend all of our time as 'The Durins'.  We can't lock ourselves away and hide in our triply secured house only emerging on stage and under guard.  I can't..." he looked down.

"No, no, no.  That's not what I meant at all," Bilbo explained hastily.  "Haven't you ever considered some kind of disguise?"

"Like a glasses, nose and moustache set?" Fili asked sardonically.

"No," Bilbo answered flatly.  He was becoming annoyed at Fili's dismissal of common sense.  It seemed like most of the conversations he had with him were as an assumed extension of Thorin and not himself.  He was hoping that would change before he lost his patience.  “I mean make some attempt to look average and normal and not saunter in looking exactly as you're expected to.”

Fili glared back at Bilbo.  Kili was watching them closely, reading for a fight more than considering what Bilbo was saying.  Due to this he did not notice Bilbo enter his space to gesture at him.

"Your long hair," he said motioning at Kili, "your expensive fitted coats," he said to Fili.  "You walk around regular people looking like that and you're going to draw attention."

Fili sighed.  He couldn't admit that the smaller man had a point but he could begin to humor him. "What did you have in mind?"

Bilbo smiled.  "Go back to the car-" Bilbo silenced Fili's rebuttal by holding up one finger.  "I just need 10 minutes.  Just 10 minutes.  Please," he added, looking at Kili.

"Alright," Kili agreed.  He walked the few steps back and leaned against the car door.  Fili reluctantly followed.

Once they were headed back in a safe direction Bilbo took off running to the shopping complex.  He didn't look back or stop.  He would have to be fast if this was going to work.

"He's in better shape than I thought," Fili thought aloud.

"You haven't been looking closely enough," Kili responded.

"Hm."

 

\--

 

Fili did not actually time Bilbo.  After the brief exchange with Kili he sunk into his thoughts so once he returned with a few shopping bags he didn't know how long he had been away.

Bilbo was slightly out of breath.  His curls had begun to frizz and his cheeks were slightly red from the exercise.  He triumphantly pulled out two plain, black, zip up sweaters.  "Take off your clothes," he stated.

Fili choked and Kili laughed.

"Actually, just your coats will do fine," he said with amusement in his voice.

"Why?" Fili asked suspiciously, annoyed that Bilbo had caught him off guard.

"Because any idiot knows that walking around the general public covered in money is going to draw eyes.  If your intention is not to get mobbed by people I suggest you give this a chance."

Kili had already shed his coat and was handing it to Bilbo.  He zipped the sweater up to his neck and stuck his hands in the front pockets.  "Comfy," he said.

"You would," Fili said to him accusingly.  He slid out of his jacket and took his brother's from Bilbo's hands.  He laid them out in the trunk of the car before returning to grab the sweater.

"Now these," Bilbo said handing them two beanies.

"You want us to walk in disguised as bank robbers?" Fili asked incredulously.

"It's to disguise your hair," Bilbo said in his best teacher voice.  "Actually, I anticipated your response and got your something better."  He pulled a baseball cap out with The Durins written across the front.

Kili snorted and then pretended to cough when Fili glared at him.

"What was it you said earlier?" Bilbo asked devilishly.

"Don't push it," Fili said.  He took out the ponytail he had styled his hair in and began bunching it on top of his head.  He took the cap from Bilbo's waiting hand and arranged it so his hair was contained within.

"Wow, you look so average without all the money.  How do you ever get laid?" Kili joked as he stuffed his loose bun into the back of a beanie before settling it over his head.

Fili shoved him roughly before walking back towards the building.

Bilbo sighed and followed.  While he increasingly felt that his job was a glorified baby sitter and care provider he thought it may prove to be somewhat satisfying.  Or amusing.

 

\--

 

Fili wanted to get a better idea of how their merchandise was being marketed and sold to their less hard-core fans and passersby.  Naturally, they had ended up in an alternative store meant for teenagers and 20-somethings.  Kili schmoosed, played with silly accessories, and forced Bilbo into ridiculous hats.  Fili walked around observing other shoppers.

"Here, this should do nicely," Kili snickered as he handed Bilbo a shirt. 

Bilbo examined the shirt critically.  It was one of The Durins’ shirts and Kili was at the forefront of the image.  Bilbo rolled his eyes and walked away, trying not to laugh at the moustache glasses Kili had managed to find.

"I can help you find your way to the dressing room, if you'd prefer some privacy," Kili said with a wink.  He twiddled the plastic moustache dangling from the glasses for effect.

Bilbo lost his fight and sputtered laughing.  He handed the shirt back to Kili and walked off to find Fili talking to the store manager.

"Listen if you're not going to buy anything you're going to have to leave," the manager explained.

"I'm just window shopping for a gift," Fili lied.

"You're creeping out the other customers.  I'm sorry but if you don't leave I'll have to call mall security."

"Hey, sorry I lost you," Bilbo said to Fili.  He turned to the manager, "My friend and I got separated.  Is there a problem?"

"People are complaining about him."

"Oh, he was just waiting for me to get here."

"Either way, it doesn't matter.  If I get a complaint, I have to act.  I need you guys to leave," the manager said with finality. 

Bilbo and Fili looked at each other.

Kili was in the middle of checking out.  He was buying the Kili shirt for Bilbo, as well as a few other items.  He was listening to the cashier explain how Fili was her favorite when his brother called him.

"Kili!"

"Wait- your name is actually?  Then he must be..." the young cashier looked expectantly towards Fili and nearly choked.  "That's Fili?" she asked skeptically.

Kili tried not to laugh.  "Um... makeup, Photoshop... the camera adds ten pounds...  I gotta go."  He winked as he grabbed his purchases, and hurried after Bilbo and Fili.

Once they were clear of the shop Bilbo burst out laughing.

"This is your fault!" Fili accused.

"How is it my fault?  Maybe if you weren't such a creeper!"  Bilbo responded, still laughing.

"I was listening to what those shoppers thought of our new stuff!"

"Yes, and you were very discreet with your conspicuous right behind them hiding spaces and heavy boot steps.  You'd make a terrible burglar."

Fili grunted at Bilbo.  He would not admit to being embarrassed by the encounter.

"How'd you do?" Fili asked turning to Kili.

"Alright.  I picked up a few things as well as some sexy items for our lovely new companion."  He crinkled the black plastic bags conspicuously. 

"Well, we've gone to the music store, the alt shop and the other music store.  Anything else you want to hit up before you're carted away as a predator?" Kili joked.

Fili elbowed him roughly in the ribs before looking up towards Bilbo.  He had settled in front of a window display while the boys talked.  A comely shopkeeper had noticed him and was sensuously rubbing a sample into his wrist while Bilbo looked flustered.  Fili gestured towards him with his chin until Kili followed the line of sight.

His eyes narrowed slightly and he surged forward.  Fili rolled his eyes at Kili's show of force and followed behind.

"Hello," Kili purred, wrapping an arm around Bilbo's waist and pulling him close.

"Is this your boyfriend?" the shopkeeper asked cheerily.  He dropped Bilbo's arm once he saw the expression Kili was giving him.

Before Bilbo could respond Fili darted in to redirect the shopkeeper asking about the current sales promotion.

Kili still had his arm around Bilbo.  When he turned to look down at him, Bilbo shoved him away.

"I do not need to be rescued from a sample boy," he fussed before walking into the store. 

Fili found their new companion’s methods a little perplexing.  When Thorin brought someone in it usually guaranteed them an overbearing, joyless shadow who he couldn't run off soon enough.  Bilbo had not only given them breathing room but walked away from them multiple times.  Not only that, he had made an effort to make their plans succeed.  He might be worth keeping around.

"What do you think of this?"  Bilbo was suddenly in front of Fili holding a block of soap up to his face. 

He stopped himself from taking a step back and inhaled.  It had a pleasant wood and bergamot smell. He met Bilbo's eyes for a moment as if making a decision.  "It's nice," he said softly, holding the smaller man's gaze for a moment longer than necessary.

Bilbo looked up into Fili's blue eyes and was put off by the intensity.  He was still suspicious of him but was trying to give them both the benefit of the doubt, and move past their disastrous first day.  A tendril of blonde hair had slipped out from Fili's cap and before he could think Bilbo had reached up to tuck it back up.

Fili froze when he felt Bilbo's hand on him.  He nearly smacked it away but instead stepped out of his reach and looked away from him, seeking out Kili with his eyes.

"Don't want to break your cover," Bilbo said awkwardly.  Considering how touchy Kili was and how Fili had treated his body like public property he was surprised to find how sensitive he actually was about his personal space.  He would be mindful to remember that in the future.

Kili had watched the moment fall apart.  If he was truly going to have to compete with Fili to gain Bilbo's attention he would not have to try very hard.  He stepped between them and held another bar of soap aloft in front of Fili.

"You have got to be kidding me," Fili said without humor.

"And you?" Kili asked turning to face Bilbo and stepping closer to him.

Bilbo's eyes flicked over him to the pale brick he held in his hand.  He leaned forward and inhaled.  Lavender and lemongrass.  "Mmmm..." he exhaled.  "That was my favorite.  I thought they discontinued it, where did you find it?" 

"At the bottom of the clearance basket," Kili said.  He smiled mischievously and skipped away to the checkout stand.

Bilbo's eyes widened when he realized what he was up to.  "Hey!  Wait!  Do you mean it's the last one?"  He hurried after the brunette abandoning Fili.

Fili watched the two men debate, a little too flirtatiously for his comfort.  He fished his slim phone out of his pocket and checked his messages.  He had a few missed calls from Thorin that made him glad he had left his phone on silent since they were at the station.  /Yes?/ he tapped out.

His phone buzzed in response almost immediately.

/Where are you?/

Fili debated between telling him the truth or embellishing to upset Thorin.

/Chaperoning your new pet and Kili, it would seem./  He almost regretted sending that text when he heard Bilbo's phone ring.

Bilbo stopped fussing with Kili to check who was calling him.  His face fell and he excused himself apologizing to the bewildered cashier before stepping out of the store.

"Hello?" Bilbo answered.

"Am I to understand that instead of steering the boys away from the public eye and uncontrolled spaces, you are in fact gallivanting around and forming entanglements?"  Thorin demanded.

"What?  Wow."  Bilbo wondered who really spoke that way.  Gallivanting?  Entanglements?  Really.

"I expect an explanation.  Right.  Now."

Bilbo pulled a face.  He would have a lot to discuss with Ori later.

"You not only expect me to keep these men from harm, but you most of all want me to do it discretely.  That isn't possible if I don't know them and they don't trust me," Bilbo explained.  He rubbed his temple with the hand that wasn't holding his phone.  He wasn't sure if it was just Thorin or if he was getting a headache.

The other end of the line remained silent.  Bilbo checked to make sure the call was still connected before continuing, "I can't do what you actually hired me to do if you're going to question every interaction and choice like this.  I didn't sign up to micromanage Fili and Kili's lives and if that's what you expect I have no issue with letting someone else take this job."

Thorin scoffed.  "You would walk away from a job with Erebor?"

"Yes," Bilbo said sternly.  Now it was his turn to fall silent.

"So be it." 

Bilbo's phone chimed to let him know the call had ended.

He walked back into the store feeling bewildered. 

"What's wrong?" Kili asked cheerfully, not so subtly swinging the bag the cashier had just handed him.

"I may or may not have been fired."

"Oh, that happens to everyone," Kili said brightly.  He was disappointed to see Bilbo go but he would make the most of the rest of the day.  He also had little doubt he could continue an association with the smaller man if he really put his mind to it.

Fili followed the pair mutely.  He felt a stirring of discomfort and it most certainly was not guilt or regret.  He swallowed and stared forward silently staying two paces behind Kili and Bilbo.   He felt another twinge of something when Kili put his arm around Bilbo's waist before Bilbo shrugged it away.

 

\--

 

Despite Fili's distaste for heavy drinking, Kili had no qualms about it.  At his suggestion (more like whining and pouting) they had ended the night at a karaoke bar.  He and Bilbo had rapidly finished a bottle of Ty Ku Black between them and were currently scrolling through the music selection.

Fili insisted they change before going out again and he was currently sitting with a fresh shave, tightly pulled back hair and clean but unremarkable black clothes with his most low key pair of expensive boots.

He wasn't in the mood to argue with Kili much so if anything he looked less put together.  His wavy hair hung loose and untamed and he still had long stubble over his face.  He had changed back into his tight pants and a slightly too small long sleeve shirt with his thumbs stuck through holes in the sleeves.

Bilbo was wearing the same insufferably tight pants that showed off his ass and Fili had definitely not made note of how he was 'hanging' for the day.  He was also not the least bit ticked off that Bilbo was easily convinced to wear that stupid Durins shirt Kili had picked out for him.  Suffice to say Fili had been nursing more than a few shots of vodka by himself at the bar.

Bilbo was past slightly tipsy and well into feeling forward and horny.  Any previous suspicion or resentment had been shed a few drinks ago and the fact that he was likely no longer working with/for The Durins and family made him feel a lot more friendly towards Fili and Kili.

He met Fili's eye when he looked up from the song choice display.  There was a mixture of interest and distaste that put bold-tipsy Bilbo in the mood to push buttons.  He left Kili at the monitor and walked through the dark bar back to where Fili was sitting.

Fili saw Bilbo making his way over and turned his body back towards the bar front.  His face felt flush and his heart beat slightly faster.

Bilbo frowned when Fili turned away from him.  He leaned in close to his turned face and spoke against his ear, "Hello."

Fili shuddered and turned to face him with what he hoped was more glowering than arousal.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Why are you holed up over here alone?"

Fili glanced back to Kili.  "Not getting in the way," he said.

Bilbo stepped into Fili's line of sight again, "and what makes you think you're not welcome?"

Fili focused his gaze back on Bilbo and mused over how to answer.  Because I'm pretty sure you'll be fucking my brother tonight might put Bilbo off Kili's game.  I don't share well was on the tip of his tongue for some reason.  "You're not my type," he blurted.

Bilbo smirked at the extended pause and the reactive tone.  He was beginning to get the hang of these Durins.  He had watched Fili effortlessly side step, flirt and manipulate his way through interviews, fans and networking for half the day.  “Interesting,” he thought.  He winked and skipped up to the karaoke platform.

He leaned over to a briefly confused Kili and shouted his selection.  Kili smirked and flicked through the panel.  He wasn't looking forward to a duet and this choice was amusing as hell as Bilbo was about to find out.  He scrolled to the song and leaned against the wall a few paces away from the platform to take in the view.

Billy Joel's Uptown Girl starting playing.  Fili's attention was caught and he glared at Kili who shrugged and laughed.  Bilbo waited for eye contact and winked at Fili.  He had a fair singing voice but wasn't usually one for performance.  However, after the last few days he was in the mood to unwind and be a little theatric.  Despite the upbeat and peppy tone of the song he moved his body suggestively to the beat.  After what he thought was a particularly impressive spin with hip gyrations he winked at Fili again.

He heard Kili laughing nearby so he turned his attention to him, which caused the brunette to laugh more.  Ever the prankster, Kili had pulled his phone out shortly after the song started and was recording Bilbo.

If it wasn't for half a bottle of sake Bilbo would have shied away from the extended shelf life of his drunken performance.  Instead, he did another spin to face the bar again and nearly stumbled over.  Fili surged forward as if to catch him but Bilbo righted himself before he fell off the raised stage.  The shorter man leaned forward towards Fili still swishing his hips back and forth.

Fili wasn't sure if he was pissed, embarrassed or needed to tear the clothes off something but he grabbed Bilbo off the stage by the hips so his body hung over his shoulder.  The man was heavier and firmer than he expected and he was almost distracted from his tantrum enough to consider copping a feel.  He moved towards the exit while Bilbo squirmed in his arms.

Kili had watched the exchange with some confusion and frustration.  What was Fili playing at?

The bouncer stepped aside without interest as the Fili walked out carrying another man.  The door to the bar remained open and the sounds of Kili finishing off the song filtered into the cool air.  Fili managed to carry the struggling, small man back to where they parked and deposited Bilbo against the car before grabbing a water bottle from the trunk and handing it to him.  "Sober up," he said, panting.

"What is your problem?"  Bilbo demanded.

"What the hell was that?" Fili yelled back.

"What?  I thought we were having fun.  What's your deal, we're not even working together anymore.  Relax."  Bilbo said stepping closer to Fili.

Fili backed away from him into the car and Bilbo followed pressing into his space.

"Feel familiar?" Bilbo asked more seriously.  "The difference is I'm not pushing you away for no fucking reason.  Drop the weapons for a night.  What do you think I'm going to do to you or your brother?"

“What I think or expect doesn’t matter.  Thorin hired you and I know what you’re here for.”  Fili stood up straighter and looked down at Bilbo threateningly.

“Was here for,” Bilbo clarified.  He tilted his face up and met Fili’s gaze defiantly.  He did not remove his body from where it pressed the taller man into the car.  Partially because stumbling away would likely lose him the upper hand, but mostly on the principle.  “Since that’s over with, mind telling me what you thought I was after?” Bilbo said in a more conversational tone although his eyes had a hard edge.  He planted his feet more steadily as if to weather the storm of the blonde’s temper.

“People have ways of getting to a certain point but in the end they’re all self-serving sycophants to someone.  Whether a person is sucking up to Thorin or me in the end they aren’t loyal to anyone.  You want to follow us around and report back to Oakenshield?  You want to be a traveling fuck toy for hire?  It doesn’t matter.  You won’t give a shit about me or Kili.”

That threw Bilbo off.  He stumbled backwards slightly and turned his face downwards searching the ground as if it held the key to addressing what had to be the most vulnerable, raw and insulting statement he had heard – at least that day.

Fili felt the cold air against his chest and suddenly felt that he’d given up too much.  In trying to hurt and push away this new intrusion on their lives he let his cards show and the direction was no longer in his hands.  He swallowed and leaned back in a calculated display of indifference.

“Fuck you,” Bilbo said.

Fili closed his eyes for a moment before meeting Bilbo’s again.  He sadistically waited for the rejection he had fostered with this man.

“You don’t get to treat people like this,” Bilbo continued more quietly.  “I don’t know what’s happened with your family or your business.  Frankly, I don’t think you lot could run a lemonade stand together, but that’s beside the point.  Shit happens.  It fucking sucks.  If you want to be alone that’s your deal.”  Bilbo stepped closer to Fili, standing over his legs.  The taller man’s reclined pose had their eyes meeting at the same height.  He was close enough to taste his breath and he inhaled deeply before continuing.  “You don’t get to hurt people just because you hurt.”

Fili’s eyes betrayed more genuine emotion than Bilbo had ever seen from him.  While there was a niggling urge to backpedal for the sake of politeness he held firm.  He knew quite well how this entire family dealt with their problems.  Somebody had to say something at some point, and since he was already out the door it may as well be him.

After a beat Fili dropped his gaze and without moving a muscle seemed to withdraw.  What could he say?  He had let just a fraction of his true feelings slip through and this man had wrenched the meaning down to its core.  He awaited the blackmail disguised as an appeal that would hurt as much as the words he had originally expected.  Maybe more now.

When reflecting later, Bilbo wasn’t sure why he made the next choice.  It would be easy to blame it on being drunk.  At his core, Bilbo was a people person.  He understood feelings, relationships and people’s tumultuous relationships with their feelings.  In front of him was a raw, deeply damaged and defensive man.  In front of him was a cornered and injured animal who had been whipped into performing for who knows how long.

Fili jolted when he felt Bilbo’s hand on his cheek.  His eyes flicked back suspiciously and met Bilbo’s soft and warm gaze.  When he wasn’t looking the man had leaned even closer.  He stroked his cheek with his thumb and cupped his fingers under his jaw.  The smaller man’s eyes moved down to his lips before meeting Fili’s again.  He breathed in through his nose and didn’t move.  Subconsciously he clenched his fingers against the car.

Bilbo gently brushed his lips against Fili’s.  When Fili followed his mouth, he applied more pressure and moved his lips against his.  He tried to convey, without force or expectation, I’m not going to hurt you, and you’re not alone.

Fili returned the kiss.  He closed his eyes and allowed himself to pretend for a moment that these tender affections demonstrated actual care for him.  He opened his mouth against Bilbo’s and deepened the kiss sucking his lower lip into his mouth.  Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to pretend, just for tonight, that this wasn’t a one-night-stand.  Tomorrow would always be the same but the morning was far away and he could do this for now.  He could let himself feel “loved” for now.

Fili lifted Bilbo up against him bracing them against the car.  Bilbo was more focused on continuing his oral ministrations than to consider his weight distribution so his bent knees pressed against the bumper while Fili supported him. 

After a moment, breathing heavily because of the physical strain or the kiss, Fili grunted as he firmly lifted Bilbo up and laid him down on the trunk.  He smirked down at the flushed and breathless smaller man.  He stood between his legs and leaned forward to reclaim the smaller man’s reddened mouth.

Bilbo’s higher brain function had retreated many minutes before his back met the car.  His hand moved from gently caressing the other man’s face to gripping his hair to pull him closer.  The gentle, reassuring kiss had evolved to a different affair involving tongue and biting.  It came rushing back to him when he felt a tug on his zipper.  His eyes opened and he tried to take a calming breath around Fili’s tongue.  He freed his hand from the blonde mane and held Fili’s still until he stopped tongue fucking him long enough to look at him.

Fili had become lost in the pleasure and sensation of the responsive and eager body under him.  The fantasy that this man actually cared made it that much better and so it took him a moment to back down.  He looked at Bilbo with confusion and again, suspicion.

If Bilbo wasn’t still embarrassingly hard under Fili’s body he probably would have rolled his eyes.  “Wait,” he said breathily.  He took a deep breath and then another before fully looking back at Fili.  His impeccably neat hair had come out of its binding and fell around his face.  His lips were red and wet and his face was flushed.  His mercurial eyes were distrusting again.  Shit.

He tried his initial motion again.  He held his hand against Fili’s cheek while he tried to reorder his thoughts.  “This…” he began.

Fili flinched out of the touch and backed off Bilbo.  “What do you want?” he hissed.  “Do you want me to fuck you?  Do you want me to trust you just so you can fuck me?”  He probably would have continued if hadn’t looked up to see Kili watching them from the club exit.  He almost felt guilty.  Almost.

The pause gave Bilbo a moment to center himself and he put his hand in front of him as if to hold off Fili’s onslaught.  “No, no, no.  No.  I’ve gotten this all wrong.  Just stop,” he added before Fili could go off again.

“I don’t want anything from you or yours.  Really I don’t.”  He could almost feel the argument brewing in the other man.  “I’m not trying to seduce you.”

Fili scoffed.  He pointedly looked over the smaller man’s mussed appearance and compromising position.

“Okay, you make a fair point,” he compromised.  “In my defense, it was just a kiss!”

Fili raised an eyebrow at him.  Dig your grave deeper, he thought.

“I’m getting this all wrong again.  I just wanted to show you that I’m genuine.  That despite your general you-ness I actually give a shit about you and words don’t seem to get through too well.”

That gave Fili pause.  “What do you mean?”

Kili had walked over to the car since the last time Fili had looked up at him.  He was now close enough to see every tousled curl on Bilbo’s head.  “He means that you get off so much on the idea of everyone being out to get you or us that you don’t see who anyone is anymore.  You never saw Bilbo.  You just saw your fearful expectations.”

Despite himself Bilbo blushed deeply.  He had the unexplainable desire to hide under a blanket.  He nearly missed the depth of awareness of Kili’s words because of it.  He finally managed to regain some decorum and sat up before stating, “You’re not alone.”  He tried to say this as convincingly as possible to the man he had just been grinding against.

Kili’s eyes flicked from Bilbo back to his brother.  “I called us a cab,” he said evenly.  “It’s already out front.”  He offered Bilbo his hand to steady him as he slid the rest of the way down the car onto his feet. 

Fili had the sense to finally fall silent.

The men filed into the back of the spacious town car.  The ride passed unremarkably until they were piling out significantly sobered up, and all feeling awkward for different reasons.

“Uh…” Bilbo started.

“Shit,” Kili remarked when it finally occurred to him that they weren’t all headed in the same direction.  He turned to watch the car’s backlights turn onto the next street.

Fili ran his hand through his hair, pulling the thick mass back before it fell over his face again.  “Let’s just go inside while we sort this out.  We’ll get you a ride home,” he said to Bilbo almost apologetically.  He may be a self-absorbed douche most of the time, but he wasn’t a complete asshat.

Bilbo nodded, not meeting his gaze.  The three men made their way into the house and dispersed.  Bilbo settled into the same chair he had earlier that day.  Ah for simpler times, he mused before returning to mentally drafting the texts he would send Ori.  /So I basically quit and made out with Fili on their car – in public./  /Good news!  You won’t have to write that contract now!/  /Sooo… how are the cats?/  Where should he even start?  He slouched further down.

Fili headed straight to his room.  Kili strode through the house purposefully.  He downed a bottle of the water from the kitchen before going after his brother with fire in his eyes.

It could have been his distraction, but it seemed the brothers were trying to be discrete.  Bilbo couldn’t make out what was being said except that most of it was in Kili’s voice with an authoritative tone.  He cursed himself for not knowing the address he was currently at so he could call his own ride.

Fili stepped back into the main room followed by Kili.  He had straightened himself up and bore no appearance of their earlier antics except in his defeated and guilty expression.  He squared his shoulders and looked at Bilbo until the smaller man met his eyes.  His gaze softened, if only for a second.  “I’m sorry,” he said.  He stood for a moment in that silence watching Bilbo, aware of his brother watching him.

“I… I forgive you,” Bilbo respond almost questionably.

With that Fili looked back to Kili before walking back to his room and just short of slammed the door shut.

“Well,” Kili said sitting on the couch across from Bilbo again.

Bilbo looked between the both of them.  “We’ve come full circle then,” he almost laughed.

Kili gave him a half smile.  “Something like that.”  The silence stretched for a moment before he continued.  “Time to get Cinderella home before the carriage turns into a pumpkin,” he said.  He again held his hand out to Bilbo expectantly to help him up.  They walked outside together towards the familiar black car idling in the driveway. 

Bilbo turned and tried to figure out what to say.  This whole day had turned out so strangely.  Before he could sort his thoughts Kili leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek before walking away.  He stood for a moment until he remembered the man holding the car door open for him.  He slid into the backseat apologizing and thanking him in the same breath.

The driver adjusted the rearview mirror so he could see Bilbo.  “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

After considering a moment, Bilbo declined. 

The rain had started up again and the small drops streaked across the window as they drove.  Bilbo felt a maelstrom of confusion and emotion inside.  He needed a bath, some tea, and a night alone in his own bed.  He tried not to think about the calls he’d have to make tomorrow.

“That was shorter,” Bilbo mused to himself when they pulled into his driveway.

“Less traffic this late,” the other man quipped before stepping out to open his door.

“Oh no, but it’s raining,” Bilbo protested too late.  He quickly stepped out but stopped the driver for a moment with his hand.  “Thank you,” he said.

The other man looked back at him without meeting his eyes.  “You’re welcome,” he responded uncertainly.

“It probably doesn’t matter now, but my name is Bilbo.”  Bilbo wasn’t going to let a few reckless and absurd days dampen his manners.

“Nori,” the other man answered with a small smile.  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Fili is so materialistic and fussy, I had to troll him with that song.

**Author's Note:**

> For fic updates, you can follow my Tumblr: indecision-inferno.tumblr.com.
> 
> I appreciate all comments and kudos. Thanks for reading. :)


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